Have I "bought" it or just trying to "sell" it?

I dig the ministry of Christ, not the position, the title, or the workload, but the ministry. The ministry has to be first in me or I can never offer it to others. If the ministry is not in me then I am only “selling” it; I have never bought it myself. I cannot minister unless I have first been ministered to. Ministry reminds me of my desperate need for God and my own need to be ministered to by Him. It is that ministry that should drive my desire to minister. Think about it. It may be the only motivation behind ministry that is holy before God.

Ministry keeps me on my knees (sometimes on my face) seeking, asking, knocking and repenting. Ministry keeps me believing, trusting, reading, learning, and walking out my faith.
Ministry has made me madder than I’ve ever been over anything else. Ministry has hurt me more than I’ve ever been hurt by anything else. Ministry has broken my heart, purged my emotions, and made me cry myself to sleep. Ministry has left me alone when I wanted to be with someone, and forced me into a crowd when all I wanted was to be left alone!

Ministry is unpredictable! It is different ever single day, and the faces of ministry are red, yellow, black and white. They are old, young, married, single, or widowed. They are Muslim, New Age, Agnostic, or Atheist. Some love you, some hate you, some could care less about you and others think they can’t make it without you.

There is no way to “finish up and go home” because you are always ministering –home or not, and there is no finishing up. No job is ever complete and those you think you finished do not stay finished! Things you get done seem to come un-done and need re-done.

Ministry forces us to communicate with others, whether we want to or not. It requires time with people and it demands forgiveness, compassion, grace, mercy, long-suffering, and did I mention forgiveness? Well it bears repeating. It expects accountable, vulnerability, honesty, and transparency. The ministry is my constant reminder to live a life worthy of the gospel, realizing that our lives are a “pattern” as it says in I Tim. 1:12-17. But ministry is also my mirror which reveals my imperfections, my flaws, and my own neediness.

Ministry is a tremendous responsibility, and at times, grossly unfair. After all, we are only human, right? Ministry has often been the cause for deep resentment between ministry partners and more times than we'd like to admit, this resentment has destroyed ministry marriages and sent churches tumbling to their death.

The ministry has stretched me, and continues to do so; my life will never be the same. I will never be satisfied with a “normal life” (though at times I wouldn’t mind giving it a shot!) but "...there is laid up for me a crown of righteousness, not only for me, but for all those who love His appearing." In writing this book I am again reminded that whether you receive a salary from a church or not, you are in ministry and if you will look for the reasons to love ministry, you will surely find them.

Ahhh, the Ministry!

I've done it! I've written a real book! I've written a lot of curriculum over the years, but this is my first real hold-it-in-your-hands book! It has a real shiney cover, a real spine with my name on it, and 319 real pages of my words. I have spent time over the years griping about what hasn't gone my way as a writer. Like so many of you, I have a tendency to look at what is not, what has not happened for me, or what I do not have. It is so easy to forget what is, what has happened for me, and what I do have.

I am reminded of a woman who recently gave our church a giftbag full of dimes. The card said, "To some this gift is not much, but it represents 10 cents from every dollar that God has given me." She is not a wealthy person by any stretch, but from that day on I have seen her as the richest woman I know. Her gift came to mind as I write this. Today I offer what I do have to offer to God and You. It may not seem like much to some people, but it is what I have. . . words, my words. I want you to have them. Read them, but more importantly read what is behind them. . . a person. . . me.